2014 Prediction: Single-Tasking's Comeback {an unfinished post}

I am just hitting "publish" on my saved drafts, bc why not.

Not that long ago, I, like probably so many other job seekers, took great pains to embed phrases like "great multi-tasker" and "can juggle many projects simultaneously" in every cover letter I sent out. It was one of those things that I'm sure everyone took for granted that a college-educated person should be capable of. Like a Chinese juggler frantically trying to keep all the plates spinning. (Okay, well the only impression I had of this was from an old Commodore 64 game, but a YouTube search informed me that this is much more elegant than I could have imagined.)

The 5 Things I Hated About Trainwreck. ***SPOILERS***

Where is this scene?

DISCLAIMER*** This is a review for people who have seen the movie or don't care that I ruin it by telling you everything wrong with it. You've seen it by now RIGHT?

Okay, so, what's the deal here?

1. Amy has no qualms hopping into bed with Aaron, the subject of her article, which is a huge journalistic / ethical breach that rarely happens in real life, and is already a heavily treaded Hollywood trope as excellently detailed in this WSJ article and this Flavorwire one. (+ here's a whole long list of over 100 films that fall prey.)  I wanted her to be an intellectual badass who sleeps with whomever she wants, but also has integrity and knows where to draw the line, come on!

2. We see her losing interest when Steven (John Cena) stumbles over his bizarre attempt at dirty talk, but sex kitten freakazoid Donald (Ezra Miller) is too much for her. Oh, I've seen this setup before. But no "just right" sex scene with Aaron (Bill Hader) to balance it out?

3. Okay and Aaron. What exactly is so compelling that Amy does a total 180 to be with him. He is utterly dull and conventional with zilch sex appeal in the movie. I mean, he's nice to her dad, but that's not a reason to be with someone. Where is the magic?

4. Amy shoots off an amazing zinger to some cheerleaders at the top of the movie, something like "You're gonna lose us the vote!" And then backpedals her contempt by assuming pom poms and a skirt by the end! Her reason? She had a realization that she hated cheerleaders because they were "successful" and she was afraid of that success. Really? THAT's what shy dissed them and not because it objectifies women?

5. Last but not least. They cut the Snacky scene! Did they know that was half the reason I went to see it?

The One Film That's Surprisingly Better than 12 Years A Slave

First, sorry it's now two months past Oscar season, but I've been wanting to write about this for a while.
Second, don't worry, this post is spoiler free.  Mostly. Mwahahahah! (JK, it really is spoiler-free.)

I'll start with 12 Years a Slave.
Directed by Steve McQueen, 2013

Oh, this old trope again.

My reaction upon hearing about (and subsequently watching) 12 Years was: Do we really need another movie about American slavery? Do black actors really want to play these kind of roles? I mean, at least Django went for uncharted territory. And if you're a black actor/actress, please let me know in the comments: do you want to play/enjoy playing a slave character?!

I ask because I'm afraid that while racist attitudes still permeate so much of modern society, movies like this give us permission to feel okay about what's happening today, because hey! black people aren't slaves anymore! Hallelujah! Except that if you've seen the doc, The House I Live In (should be required viewing for every American), or read the book (am currently reading) The New Jim Crow, you will see how microscopically tiny we've actually moved the needle.

Or you know, if you've glimpsed any news about Trayvon Martin or Melissa Alexander.

Which is why we need films like Fruitvale Station. 
Directed by Ryan Coogler (that last name!), 2009

Let me show you what films can be about. 

Fruitvale Station is based on the true story of Oscar Grant and his fatal run-in with the San Francisco PD. The story unfolds with heart-wrenching tenderness and leaves you wondering how do bad things like this keep happening in this bastion of political correctness and affirmative actions. Coogler does a great job in his directorial debut, having secured both a Grand Jury Prize and Audience Award at last year's Sundance. (Don't worry, that old white man crew called the Academy of course snubbed it in typical fashion, because already included one black film already!) Watch it, because....

Here's something about my family that I don't usually bring up because it's so weirdly sensational, and frankly, I hadn't seen this cousin since we were kids, but that only underscores how incidents like this — when they involve black people — are so commonplace that they can make local news and never reach national attention. So get ready for heavy. My cousin (Henry) Orlando Bryant was stunned to death by police officers in an Indiana family restaurant. We weren't very close, and most of you know I'm not close to any of my family at all, so it didn't really affect me personally. And unfortunately, I don't know much more than what's reported in the news, but clearly, there's way more stuff happening than ever gets the attention it needs and so when I see that someone is making yet another film that makes white people feel better about slavery (even by you, Brad Pitt), I want to smack them back to reality.

Hollywood, from now on, when you want to recognize an "important film", let's stop showering accolades on that old walnut about how America freed the slaves  and start supporting films that get us out of our comfort zone. I know, tall order.

Rest in peace, cuz.

2 In-Flight Movies, One Smart, One Not-So

I recently flew back from Iceland and I thought I would have a lot to say about it, and I probably do, but right now I want to talk about the two movies I watched en route. If you haven't yet, you should definitely see --

Enough Said
Nicole Holofcener somehow always finds the perfect way to reveal those small moments between two people that you never thought other people went through but that you can totally relate to and thank goodness someone did. I loved Julia Dreyfess in this role, the acting is nuanced, funny, mature, and natural. This isn't James Gandolfini's best role, however, but he is likable enough (RIP), and Holofcener does a wonderful job building up his charm and then dissecting it into ever tinier pieces.

Did you see Pacific Rim? Lol.

But why would you bother with -

Pacific Rim

It probably goes without saying. If you were drawn in by the trailers, you probably already saw this in the theaters, but seriously. I can't believe this was a movie for adults. The only saving grace, and sorry I'm so shallow, but Charlie Hunnam as eye candy (oh how I loved him in Undeclared), and Rinko Kikuchi, also easy on the eyes, as the token female character who needs saving.

Yes, this is a movie where giant toys fight each other. TO THE DEATH.

Walking and Foraging in New Jersey

Top row: Sassafras (the edible root is left of the leaf), White Staghorn Sumac berries.
Bottom row: Crab Apple, Wood Sorrel.

Funny thing happened when I moved to New York. Even though I'd lived in way more nature-loving places like, say, Indiana and California, I didn't really take to hiking and camping until I moved here. To be sure, getting a dog probably had something to do with it. And tapping into that extra burst of joy that comes from watching him totally be in his element — zipping along the trail, lapping up the fresh spring water, and flushing out the occasional forest critter.

The other part I really like about hikes is finding and eating wild things. I had my eye out for mushrooms, but as we didn't stray too far off the trail, I knew I wasn't likely to find much. I was delighted, however, when I realized that the red-turning leaves and dark pink fluffy cones I'd been admiring belonged to a sumac tree. It was probably a little late in the season as they were already turning dry and brown, but I found one that didn't look too bad and after positively identifying it with my Wildman Bill app, I gently broke apart the drier outer layer, plucked a few of the berries loose and popped one in my mouth. Whoa, was it zingy! It tasted slightly of tart raspberries, although I'm not sure if the color affected my taste perception. Would be perfect mashed with some whisky, honey, and mint I'm sure.

As we walked further, I noticed tiny stalks of sassafras under the forest canopy. These are super easy to identify, because I am pretty sure it is the only plant with THREE different leaves on a single plant. An adorable mitten leaf, as pictured above, a three-lobe leaf, and a single lobe leaf. You can also find these planted on the Highline, too, along with other indigenous plants. I didn't have a gardener's shovel with me, so I avoided any of the really stalky, mature ones and found a scrawny one about knee height that wasn't yet cemented into the soil. I peeled away the dirty outer layer and nibbled at the root. The licorice-y taste is unmistakeable. It's where root beer comes from.

Wood sorrel is easy to spot. It looks similar to clover, but the leaves are heart-shaped, and in the spring, they're adorned with tiny yellow flowers. They flanked the dirt trail wherever the grasses thinned out. You can also find them popping up in city parks, in your neighbor's neglected pots, and other edge habitats. The delicate leaves taste super lemony and are great in salads or in a drink.

We turned back when we got to a rocky scramble about an hour in. The wide slanting jumps, and steep crevices made me nervous for Arlo. It didn't help that he whined when I strayed too far and circled around without finding easy passage. On the way back, we stepped out onto a smaller boulder set overlooking the estuary. Upon spotting a brown rotting apple on the ground, and then another, I looked up to find a magnificent crab apple tree, the branches overlapping each other and teeming with little golden apples. Of course I had to try one. The tartness immediately sucked all the moisture from my mouth, not unlike drinking a meaty Cabernet. I offered a bite each to my hiking buddy and Arlo. We finished the single apple, but didn't venture for any more.

Thinking back on it today, I wish we could've gotten past that scramble to look for the supposed waterfall... Is it time to invest in some kind of dog hiking harness? Has anyone ever used one?

Don't forget this guy. 

My 2003 Blackout Story

Photo: Sarah Glidden, minicloud on flickr.com

Photo: Sarah Glidden, minicloud on flickr.com

Photo: Sarah Glidden, minicloud on flickr.com

Photo: Sarah Glidden, minicloud on flickr.com

I was working at an ad agency in Tribeca, the power went out and everyone was feeling a little nervous / giddy when the computers went down and the lights went off. We walked down the (I forget how many, not too many) flights of stairs down to the street level and more and more people started to exit their buildings.

Once we realized it was not another attack on the city, we all left and headed home. I walked across the Williamsburg bridge. The Hassidic Jews on the Brooklyn side were handing water out to everyone (forgot about this until I saw the photos!).

I checked in with my friend Joey who invited me over to eat steaks she had in the freezer and we fired up the grill. I think we found a bar afterward that was unloading their beers for free while the kegs were still cold -- not hard to find. We passed people shopping in bodegas by flashlight, regular people controlling traffic in major intersections. Everyone was acting how I wish they would more often, we were all in this together.

What's your story?

Let an Asian American Person Explain Why The KTVU Prank Is Racist

After reading numerous comments from the Internet ignorami, I felt compelled to say something. And that is:

America, please stop trying to whitesplain away the racism.

Do you have fat friends? Do you call them Fatty McFattersons? Do you have black friends? Do you call them Jiggaboo Jeffersons?

Yes, I can appreciate the humor. It IS a funny play on words. But if any of my friends came up to me and said, "Hey Ho Chi Minh, what's going on?" I'd probably be like, WTF is your problem? (And then break out some karate moves, because obviously I'm a black belt.)

Why this is not "just like Bart Simpson calling the bar to ask for Seymour Butts." 

Because it serves to perpetuate the "foreignness" of Asian culture. It goes back to the those jokes about how does a Chinese person name their child? They throw a stick at a can. Haha, those Chinese people. Their language is so weird, a real American could NEVER understand it.

Well those Chinese people ARE Americans, and until white America fully embraces Asian cultures as one of their own, jokes like this are pretty much not okay.

And what about the children?!

I can just imagine all the childhood bullies taking this as justification to torment the Asian kids with (or without) funny names in the schoolyard. Can't say I haven't been there.